Lately everything just seemed to have gone past Natalie in a blur. Life had been turned upside down and was really hectic. Those who said to her that fifth year was a stressful period had not even come close to explaining what that really meant, and Natalie had discovered it all on her own. In addition to this hectic life style where she had to spend hours in the library, preparing for the final term tests, her mind had been battling with the sorrow of loss in her heart. Her dearly beloved grandfather had passed away last month and although she had overcome the initial shock she was still a little fidgety about the whole grief process. On the one hand she wanted to break all rules and just let go, disappear and maybe try something new, and on the other hand she wanted to move on with being who she was and perhaps try and mend whatever broken piece of herself that she could. The circumstances of how the news of her grandfathers passing had come to her had left her a little bitter, resenting that part of her family. Sure, she loved her family, but like any other family, there were flaws, and Natalia had just experienced a great one.

Apparently her family did not comprehend loss very good. Although it upset her, it also explained a lot, like how no one in her family often spoke about her deceased mother, even though Natalie had a million questions about her. A girl should know her mother! Natalie had always been particularly touchy regarding this meticulous subject: her mother. Since no one spoke of her, she had not asked questions. However, now she was beginning to understand that in the department of sorrow of loss her family sucked, and perhaps she should start asking all those burning questions she had long kept in her heart.

Natalie had decided to go with being who she was, and instead of following up on some cliché messed up teenage life style that so many young girls like herself did when they came at a crossroads, she had decided to delve the studious habitat that was the library. Although she was bored half the time, it had in truth made a difference in her grades. Her teachers had commented on her hard work, and it had paid off in the end. However, Natalie was growing tired with this lifestyle as well. She had always been an average student, and working this hard was growing into her social life. It was a little uncharacteristic of her, but she supposed that any reasonable adult would applaud her for dealing with her grief this way instead of drowning her sorrows in a glass of fire whiskey.

This week’s huge academic approach had been in the field of potions. She had been in the potions lab working on some ingredients for her essay all evening. Her mind was exhausted from working so hard and she was feeling rather lightheaded. She packed up her things and left. Coming up the stairs without paying much attention to anything she found herself suddenly face to face with Tobin. One moment she was walking, another she felt firm hands on her waist, twirling her around as if to avoid a crash. She movement was so fluid it left her momentarily dazed. Her icy blue eyes stared blankly out, she blinked, focusing on Tobin’s warm face, then a small smile spread across her lips. “Hey,” she breathed, her mind catching up with that had just happened. Her eyes were almost at level with his. Even though he was standing one stair level down from her, he was taller than her.

Natalie desperately wished for her life to return to normal. All it needed was a push of some sort. A few days ago an older Slytherin guy had tried to tempt her into something a little adventurous, something a little out of character that would’ve left her at the bottom of a glass somewhere unexpected. However, despite her flimsy and ditzy personality, she had not been tempted into that part of the human psyche, at least not for the time being. Instead she had held on to her sadness, her passiveness and her studious out-of-herself experience. Her life was boring. Tedious even. But she had been too sad to fix it. Too deep in her apathy to even recognize the patterns.

It all changed now.

It was what she needed to feel something again; just a smile, a little touch, a simple glance from a pair of handsome eyes. Her heart fluttered, and she never again wanted to leave his embrace. Fate had made it so that the two young teens had yet to meet since their first encounter, despite the willingness of both parties. Natalie was sad to admit that her social life and declined since her grandfathers passing, and with it her drive for school had bloomed. However, she really couldn’t care about either of the two previous thoughts anymore.

She smiled, a little coyly, but still with a gleam in her eyes. She had not failed to notice how his hands lingered on her waist. She could feel her cheeks glowing slightly with the sudden rush of life coming back to her. She had been numb for far too long. “Not really,” she replied lightly, her deep, icy blue eyes never leaving his handsome face.

It almost felt like she had drifted into a long forgotten dream, where the lines were blurred and your senses dulled, yet you still felt and took in all the emotions of the scene. You could remember the small details, like the smell of someone’s breath, the particular clear colour of someone’s eyes, the way each and every single strand of hair moved in the non-existing vacuum of reality. Life was moving in slow motion and for that one exact moment it was like a veil had been lifted from her eyes, and Natalie Dunham could see everything. She could see the dost moths in the air, see the texture of Toby’s skin, the way his lips moved when he talked, the careful arch of his brows and the tiniest thump of a heartbeat under the skin of his neck. This abstract and prolonged feeling of complete and utter nonsense and bliss could only ben described as one of two things. Was it love, or was it desire?

Natalie blushed at his response, coming to grips with her honest mistake. She smiled. “Oh, yes, of course,” she said as if she had just forgotten something incredibly obvious. “The common room is around here, somewhere,” she said, letting the last word hang slightly in the air drifting off in thought. There was something airy and distracting about Natalie. The way her blonde mess of a hair, however untamed, seemed to move in a wave as she moved, the way she seemed to laugh and smile with such ease, contagious bliss, enthralling eyes. She looked at him with such willingness, her raging hormones not wanting anything involved him to end. She titled her head a slightly to one side as he asked her to join him, as if to contemplate whether or not she should go. Of course she was almost bursting with willingness to follow him, but a girl’s gotta play a hard to get, at least a little.

Coyly she smiled and nodded. “Sure, that sounds great,” she said, wondering if she placed her hands on his shoulders if he would kiss her, yet she dared not. A kiss? Oh yes, a kiss, that was what she was dreaming off, love or lust, it didn’t matter. She was sure that she would not fall at ease until those sultry lips were hers.

Natalie’s eyes widened slightly and she felt as if her breath would get caught in her throat. It was almost as if she could feel the electricity between them, as if nature itself was tuning into their little private moment, clung itself onto their intensity. Natalie looked at him, hopefully, wishing, wishing he would kiss her. Oh God! Yes, she did want him to kiss her. She was uncontrollably crushing on this wonderfully uncomplicated guy, and he was gorgeous, and her hormones were springing on her and all she wanted to do, all it ever felt like she had wanted to do, was to kiss him. And then the moment passed.

It almost felt like a deflating balloon, where the air disappeared rapidly. She was almost unable to keep the disappointment inside, almost unable to refrain from pouting, but she managed a brave face, if only because he still hadn’t let go of her. Still, true to her girlish nature she couldn’t help but wonder, was he just toying with her? Maybe she had read too much into it and he just wanted to stay playful friends. She wasn’t sure if she could do that. She was crushing like mad. But she wasn’t about to give up yet. After all, she was a Dunham, and although she wasn’t a dryad like her aunt, she was nothing if not persistent in her own urges and desires. Unlike most teenage girls, she was true to her nature, and true to her being. She knew what she wanted, and she wasn’t about to give up just because she had one mislead moment.

Natalie grinned, not minding hid firm grip on her waist. In fact, she wished he would do so much more than just hold her waist. Oh, if aunty could hear her thoughts, perhaps she would be proud of her Natalie’s complete unfiltered thoughts, and how she didn’t even flinch at the realisation of her own desires. “Onwards we go!” Natalie chimed in, letting Toby lead the way. In that moment, she would’ve gone anywhere as long as it was with him. As long as she got another chance to be close to him. Perhaps even another chance to kiss him. She couldn’t deny that the idea of his lips weren’t far from her trail of thoughts.