HERBOLOGY PROFESSOR part dryad
27 years old
Half-Blood
Single
Elli
72 posts
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Post by Catherine Dunham on Apr 7, 2013 18:15:50 GMT -6
The wind was cold, aggressive and bitter - typical for November. The whole world seemed to be painted in black and white. And grey. So much grey everywhere. The usual, colorful autumn leaves where long gone and everything was asleep. Waiting for winter. But the lack of snow made it all seem dead. The depressed state of her surroundings matched the mood of the Herbology Professor, who was standing wrapped around in her black robe by the shore of the Black Lake, her eyes empty as she gazed over the cold, dark water. It had been a few rough months for Catherine. The usual erratic, happy little garden gnome was replaced by a shadow of a woman, pale and skinny, who's eyes now carried sorrow and pain. Her father, Tobias, had died unexpectedly from a heart attack at the end of September, and even though Catherine had been granted a few weeks off from teaching, she was still struggling heavily with the loss. Her father meant more to her than anyone else. She did not neglect her work or her students - in a way, she felt that the school was the only thing that kept her going - but everyone saw that it was a different woman who had returned from her father's funeral. Someone who was suffering. She could barely stand being around people except for when she was teaching. She hated the sympathetic glances people gave her whenever they passed her in the corridor, but she hated the solitude even more. She did not want to be alone, but it was as if it was the only thing she could handle right now. That's why she went on long walks whenever she could - to get away from it all. She didn't even want to talk to her best friend Illyana, even though she knew the woman would be there for her when she was ready to talk. But for now, she kept quiet. Kept the pain inside. It would hurt too much to let it out.
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DEPUTY HEADMASTER potions professor head of slytherin
36 years old
Mixed-Blood
Single
Cha
107 posts
0 likes
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Post by Grey Alford Porter on Apr 9, 2013 8:45:16 GMT -6
Dealing with the students, even the staff members, had become more of a chore than normal that week. The week itself and the events that came up during it were nothing out of the ordinary. In truth, the week probably could have been classified as a decent one, as they went for Grey. However, his mood, and particular memories brought forth, were always enough to make things worse than they were. The man had thought he had gotten over the past. Perhaps not over, but more accepting of events. Yet, as the days crept closer, he felt the memories and emotions bogging him down even more than usual. He knew that at the rate things were going, come Tuesday of the coming week he would not be fit to teach--less he risk sending a large number of students into fits of tears from his bad mood. What was the cause of the darkening cloud over the Potion Master's head one may ask? Uncertain if the man would share such information with anyone, the problem laid in a time back in his early youth, when that day in November the man lost the dearest person to him: his mother. The blow had been hard then, and the backlash from it now was still difficult to weather through.
Grey found he hated this time of year, for the emotions and memories the time dredged up. But then he would loathe himself for such dark thoughts towards the memory of his mother. He refused to think just what she would have to say about how he was living his current life--or perhaps rather his bleak outlook on things.
Leaving the castle seemed the best option in the moment, after Grey had uncharacteristically broken three flasks and made one near disaster of a mistake. Leaving the dark dungeons for the open air had to be better for his peace of mind, if not that then at least his potion supplies. However, Grey was not privy to where his feet were sending him, and the man came up short when he spied another figure not far from when his feet had been leading him. He hesitated in coming on, remembering a certain evening sometime back with the woman. She did not seem to recall anything, but Grey was still a bit sore about being abruptly awoken in the night and then yelled at. It had not made sense then, and it still made little sense then.
The man wondered if he could possibly back away and head in a different direction without the Herbology professor's notice...
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HERBOLOGY PROFESSOR part dryad
27 years old
Half-Blood
Single
Elli
72 posts
0 likes
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Post by Catherine Dunham on Apr 9, 2013 10:07:30 GMT -6
The grief had numbed down Catherine's senses and she did not hear another person approaching. She barely could feel the cold but knew that she was supposed to carry her robe, and therefore had put it on before leaving her quarters. She hadn't bothered with her hair, nor did she wore any make up. She didn't look like a mess, but she did look sickly. She was exhausted, but couldn't sleep. She was hungry, but had no appetite. Some days, she couldn't stop crying but the past week she hadn't had the energy to do anything but just stare. And teach lessons like a robot.
She heard the sound of motion behind her and slowly turned around, only to freeze when laying her eyes upon Grey Porter. It wasn't exactly a shock to see Grey, they were colleagues and bumped into each other a lot at the school. But it was never just the two of them anymore. And he had acted really strangely to her lately. Their already strained relationship had become even more tense. She knew he didn't like her and she used to have massive problems with that. However, now, whatever his feelings towards her may be, she somehow couldn't really understand why she had cared so much. Compared to the loss of her father, nothing else really mattered anymore.
But it was still a very uncomfortable situation for Catherine. The last thing she needed right now was judgement. Why did she care about his opinions, anyway? She had a right to grief. But he was somewhat of her boss and did have the power to sack her if she didn't perform well. She should not let him see her like this. But there really wasn't anything she could do - she was a pale, skinny shadow of the woman she used to be, the lack of height making her look even more pathetic than usual.
"Professor." she greeted, her voice tense and revealing the anxiety that was building up inside her. Why was he here? He never met with her in private. This could only mean bad news.
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DEPUTY HEADMASTER potions professor head of slytherin
36 years old
Mixed-Blood
Single
Cha
107 posts
0 likes
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Post by Grey Alford Porter on Apr 10, 2013 7:58:00 GMT -6
Sneaking back away proved to be a fruitless effort, as before the main could even back one step away the woman's gaze had darted towards his figure. The swiftness of it had at least saved him the embarrassment of trying to run away. The professor had no notion what was going on inside the others' mind. While, it was true he held a management position over the other, such things did not cloud his every waking thought. He didn't jump swiftly to thoughts of the woman's duty as a Professor and things revolving it. The man's own thoughts had been more selfishly contained. He was not a social man on even the best of days. Many of the faculty members realized this and usually sought companionship with another more open than he. Grey was not bothered in the least by this. He knew that perhaps he should have made more of an effort given his role as Deputy, but he was content in that the staff knew they could still come to him if they had problems or needed his approval of something.
However, none of this really played much of a role for Grey in that moment. He had been seeking solitude, as given the state he had left classroom, he did not believe himself good company for anyone. Yet, Catherine still retained the social graces expected in their society. She greeted him. Damn it. Etiquette dictated he respond back in a like manner. Yet, even with his limited social graces, Grey could see that Catherine was probably seeking his company just as much he was seeking her.
"How would you have responded if I just said nothing and left?"
The words were out before he had even realized he said them. He grimaced and looked slightly away as he cursed. "Bugger." The question had been in his mind, and his temper as it was, he had not quite realized he had spoke it out loud until the last word had left his lips. He could not retract the question now, nor did he attempt to. The man did not even attempted to remedy the situation. Might as well see it through.
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HERBOLOGY PROFESSOR part dryad
27 years old
Half-Blood
Single
Elli
72 posts
0 likes
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Post by Catherine Dunham on Apr 11, 2013 19:21:55 GMT -6
Catherine blinked a few times in confusion at the man’s question, not prepared at all for that kind of treatment - not even from this man. He wasn’t a social bee but he had never been rude to her before. At least not on purpose.
A few moments went by and the man did not seem to be planning on excusing or explaining himself. Under normal circumstances, Catherine would’ve probably made a scene. She didn’t have the energy now, though. But a part of her was curious to why he would say something like that.
”Now why would you treat another person like that...” she replied quietly, not meeting his gaze. It was apparent that Grey’s words had hurt her, and her lack of emotional reaction made it seem even more... tragic. As if he had just kicked someone who was already lying down.
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DEPUTY HEADMASTER potions professor head of slytherin
36 years old
Mixed-Blood
Single
Cha
107 posts
0 likes
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Post by Grey Alford Porter on Apr 12, 2013 10:21:04 GMT -6
"Mm,"the man made a nonverbal response first with a small nod of his head, as if her answer had been enough. Perhaps it had, as it clearly stated that she would not have liked such a response--no matter how much Grey would have preferred to have given it. He had not meant to speak the question aloud, but he would own up to it and follow where it went. His relations with this woman were already a complete mess, so at this point he wasn't sure if there really was anything salvageable. Granted, they had yet to be reduced to any actual hostile interactions, but he supposed that could be a next step--though it did not really fit with his own personality (he could not lay claim to know Catherine's).
"It would be due response, or wish, for someone not seeking the companionship of others in the moment, and then finding themselves in that exact situation," the man then continued after a small beat. He was not seeking to offend the woman, but then that was how things always seemed to go, and given this day and his own emotions he was not in the very best form to be speaking with the Herbology Professor--granted, he didn't seem to be in the best of form to ever speak with the woman with the way things always turned out. "But I have yet to act in such a manner, as I am still undoubtedly here and most definitely speaking to you. Against better judgement, if the broken glassware in my classroom is anything to go off of."
Grey just let his mouth talk, letting things come out he would normally have not divulged, at least not so bluntly. His eyes left the woman to stare out over the lake, though he wasn't really looking at it, but something else in his mind. "The next week cannot end soon enough," he then murmured to himself as he visibly shook his head to dislodge whatever thoughts chose to haunt him in that moment. Things would be better if that day, always looming over his head to disconcert him, was over and done. To let the past rest once more where it was. He could not change anything, but emotions were irrational things.
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HERBOLOGY PROFESSOR part dryad
27 years old
Half-Blood
Single
Elli
72 posts
0 likes
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Post by Catherine Dunham on Apr 12, 2013 19:10:00 GMT -6
There was something very odd going on with the other man, at least, that's what Catherine got out of his behavior - but she barely knew him outside work. He never shared anything unnecessary, partly because his obvious dislike of Catherine, but partly because that's who he was. The curiosity began to grow - it almost came as a relief. She had been so wrapped up in her own misery that something else to think about for a second felt welcome.
She eyed him carefully for a moment, her front now facing him. In a way, his behavior was mirroring what she was feeling.
"Life's a bitch, and then we die." she murmured, but keeping her eyes on Grey. "What happened to your glassware?" she asked, her eyes unconsciously scanning his hands after eventual scratches from broken glass. But then again, the man would probably not leave a bleeding bruise unattended. No one did that in the magical world. In that sense, the Muggle world was far more dramatic.
"And yes, we're both here talking although none of us wants to. You may go if you want. But I don't mind the company." Catherine then said, and was shocked to realize that she actually meant it.
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DEPUTY HEADMASTER potions professor head of slytherin
36 years old
Mixed-Blood
Single
Cha
107 posts
0 likes
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Post by Grey Alford Porter on Apr 13, 2013 6:45:28 GMT -6
"Everyone, everything eventually dies," the wizard shot back to her first comment. "It is the way of the world, and we're left to continue forward." The words should have been heated, but they left Grey's mouth rather sedately as his gaze remained out over the lake. Life was a horrible things, but then it was also the best of things. Everything always depended upon the circumstances and events currently in effect. However, Grey was not so much in his own little world that he neglected Catherine's own state. He could relate, although he was yet certain if he wanted to divulge the reason for his own mood. The man could remember the reason given for the woman's time off, and despite a common ground, it was not something either them would probably want to speak about. Grey certainly had not spoken about his mother's death since it had occurred. Normally he just weathered through this time each year and tried not to think about it.
"Obviously, said glassware met with an untimely demise," he stated in response to her question, not really answering it fully. Truly it didn't really matter? As when something breaks, it breaks. Does one need to know the particulars of how in this case? He slipped his hands into the pockets of his slacks, unaware of the scrutiny that had just been getting from the woman.
The last statement brought Grey's gaze in from the lake to stare at the woman with an unreadable expression. "I doubt it is my company you would wish, as you seem to harbor a certain dislike towards me that I cannot explain," the man then said carefully, and somewhat guarded--but still open, since the words had been spoke out loud--waiting for the usual accusations that seemed to follow them whenever their line of conversation went into this path.
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HERBOLOGY PROFESSOR part dryad
27 years old
Half-Blood
Single
Elli
72 posts
0 likes
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Post by Catherine Dunham on Apr 13, 2013 19:10:18 GMT -6
Catherine wondered briefly if this was the closest to a conversation the pair had ever had. And by the way things were going, the morbid subject on which they were touching, how sad wasn't that?
With his last comment, Catherine gave him a sharp look of disbelief. What the hell was the man talking about? Any dislike she felt towards him was because of the obvious dislike he felt towards her! She couldn't really believe it. But she was too tired to come up with any bullshit, denying what he accused her of.
"Honestly, Grey... " she began slowly, rubbing her temples as if to clear her head. Voicing his name felt weird, she usually addressed him as 'Professor' or 'Professor Porter'. "No, you're not my favorite person on the planet. Because you never gave me a reason to like you. And I assumed it was because you didn't like me." Truth was, she had been afraid of the man since the first day they met. He had that aura about him. She felt extremely insecure around him.
Today though, he seemed to be in some sort of pain. Catherine felt as if Grey's eyes mirrored what she was feeling inside. She realized that she actually wouldn't mind him staying, she'd actually prefer it. For some reason, she no longer wanted to be alone. But she had no idea how to tell him that without scaring him away. She opened her mouth briefly but no words managed to get out, so she closed it again.
Damn it.
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DEPUTY HEADMASTER potions professor head of slytherin
36 years old
Mixed-Blood
Single
Cha
107 posts
0 likes
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Post by Grey Alford Porter on Apr 13, 2013 22:25:26 GMT -6
When the woman spoke, Grey cocked his head slightly to the side, listening. She was not telling him something he didn't already know. However, this was information he was privy to only because she had basically screamed it at him in the middle of the night when she had came to his room drunk. She did not seem to remember this particular incident, and Grey had had no reason to bring it up. It would probably upset the woman further, and he saw no reason to dredge up memories of the night. Neither of them had been at their best then. She drunk and unreasonable, and him cross and ready to just throw her out. In fact, he had done just that. He hadn't been able to tolerate the shifting moods of her drunken ways and had simply pulled her up from his floor and saw her back to her own rooms. That had been the end of it. Grey figured she remembered none of it as their interactions had not changed.
Grey paused, trying to choose his words carefully. A difficult task given his melancholy mood. It was easier to be blunt, but it was also easier to open oneself up to ridicule and pain of others that way. Grey did not have as thick of an armor against people as many thought. He could not be open and carefree as others were. He couldn't simply forget events, so it was easier just not to give causes to such events. His temper he could not account for and the man was more than capable of holding grudges. Catherine had yet to experience his dislike.
"Something you have failed to notice, Catherine," he conceded the point to use her first name rather than her title in this conversation. "Is that how I treat you is no different than I treat everyone in my acquaintance. I am not an open person," Grey used the word open in more than one meaning here. He was not a social being, nor was he one to readily disclosed everything he thought, felt, or experienced. It was a miracle that he could even lay claim to one friendship within the school, their mutual friend: Illyana, and even that was just barely. Grey did not let people in. "I do not coddle or cater to the whims of those around me. And while you have proven to confuse me on numerous occasions, I have yet to harbor any dislike towards you."
This vein of conversation seemed aptly familiar to Grey in that moment, he just merely hoped it would not be repeat of that last time when the woman had gripped onto a single word instead of the context it was used. He could not foresee what his response would be if so...
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HERBOLOGY PROFESSOR part dryad
27 years old
Half-Blood
Single
Elli
72 posts
0 likes
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Post by Catherine Dunham on Apr 14, 2013 10:32:53 GMT -6
Catherine couldn't really argue with his words, what he said made sense - even to her, one of the most irrational people on the planet. But the grief made her see more clearly - one of very few benefits apparently. She did feel that he tried to put the whole blame on her, though, so she frowned slightly and unconsciously folded her arms over her chest like a child who had been talked down to.
"Well... " she started, pouting with her lips slightly. "Since I "coddle and cater to the whims of others"... it should not be a surprise to you that I took your... manners... or whatever you chose to call that extremely intimidating behavior of yours... as a sign that you don't like me. I don't know how you treat others. Illyana seems to like you."
The little Herbology professor tried to remember her previous encounters with the Potion Professor, but had no idea what he was talking about. "And what do you mean I confuse you? You're the complicated one!"
Yeah, it sure was easier to be blunt.
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DEPUTY HEADMASTER potions professor head of slytherin
36 years old
Mixed-Blood
Single
Cha
107 posts
0 likes
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Post by Grey Alford Porter on Apr 14, 2013 10:59:05 GMT -6
"Illyana may be a special case," the man state quietly, not at all afraid to admit that knew he wasn't well liked among others. However, Grey also knew that he didn't extend much effort to make friends with his colleagues either. He was an untrusting individual, but even that aside his duties often left him with little actual time. "Our roles in the school has placed us in each other's company enough that she's learned to put up with my ... intimidating behavior, as you've called it ... or something. I do not know." Frankly, Grey didn't know how she even managed it. He knew even they were not really friends, but it was the closet Grey could lay claim to in the school. It was not something the man could claim to understand, nor could he really attempt to explain it if he wished. He wasn't even certain if Illyana would view him in a similar fashion. As mentioned, Grey lacked a certain social grace. He was horrid at reading other people.
Grey furrowed his brow at her last statement. "Whenever we meet, you seem to always being, pardon my assumption, picking a fight or taking things wrongly?" the man spoke with a question, unsure of himself. "You seem to take whatever I say in a way I never meant it or can even follow in lines of thought." Grey shook his head. "I apologize, I am not good at expressing myself." This was probably the closes the Herbology Professor would get to an admission that Grey knew he was socially inept and admitting it out loud. He wasn't about to come out and say that he didn't trust other people or really wanted to create connections with his colleagues, but he could at least admit to this lack of skill.
However, one thing was certain, Grey did not jump in to bring attention the other's professor midnight drunk escapades. While it would certainly be an apt example, Grey did not feel it really was a prime example of their interactions. "I have noticed you are completely different with me than with others, and perhaps because as you said, I am intimidating," the man then end with a slight shrug of his shoulder, conceding her this point. "But as I said, I have treated you no differently than I have anyone else." The students had certainly noticed this point, as they had hoped he hadn't always had a Broom up his arse as some of the more colorful comments he' heard spoken in the corridors in relation to himself.
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HERBOLOGY PROFESSOR part dryad
27 years old
Half-Blood
Single
Elli
72 posts
0 likes
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Post by Catherine Dunham on Apr 14, 2013 11:27:34 GMT -6
During normal circumstances, Catherine would've probably shouted or laughed at the man right now. Or both at the same time. His attempt to try to express what he was... feeling? (Catherine wasn't sure if he was capable of that)... was indeed very endearing, but he was still accusing her of picking fights with him which simply wasn't true. They did agree on one thing though. They both confused one another.
Despite her lack of food and sleep for the past few weeks, her cheeks reddened when he commented on her treating him differently than others. Catherine had always assumed that she was invisible to the man, that she was surprised to hear that he had actually noticed stuff about her without her knowing it. Truth to be told, when interacting with handsome men, she was indeed very flirty - sometimes even obnoxiously so - and she sincerely hoped that he hadn't noticed that. The few times she had made an attempt to flirt with Grey, he had killed it very effectively. She looked away in an attempt to cover her embarrassment.
"Yes, we don't know how to communicate with each other." she said, still not looking at him. "But I was very clear that I didn't mind your company. And I mean it. I wouldn't say that to someone I didn't like. Yes, you're very confusing. But you're nice to look at..." Crap. Crap. Crap. "... I mean, you're nice to... you know..." She made a motion in the air as if that explained what she meant. And it probably just made things worse.
"Oh, bloody hell!" she cursed and angrily scratched her head, not making eye contact with the man at all.
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DEPUTY HEADMASTER potions professor head of slytherin
36 years old
Mixed-Blood
Single
Cha
107 posts
0 likes
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Post by Grey Alford Porter on Apr 21, 2013 3:01:16 GMT -6
However the woman took his words, Grey could not say. The problem with expressing ones views is that was exactly what they were doing: expressing their views. Grey had told the woman how he perceived their interactions. He did not lay complete blame at her feet, as the man knew as well as any that he was lacking in many areas. Yet, they were areas that Grey had never seen the point in correcting. Mostly for they were parts that of the man that he had become. His past and experiences had molded him into this stiff being, and truthfully, Grey was content in who he was. There may be things he contemplated changing, but it was never enough to warrant action--instead, they were merely just a passing fancy. Yet, a problem always again with expressing view points. One had to realize that was what they were: a person's view point. Yet, what could the man do? He had never once approached Catherine with the intent to start a fight, and yet that was the direction most of their interactions tended to go.
The man blinked at her blundering words. By her words, he was merely ... what was the term girls used? Eye candy? Something nice to look at. It was not particularly reassuring at all. The man was left being reminded by arguments of old used by the female sex in their fight for equality, about being judge of their intellect, their personality, their inner being rather than their outer shell. However, Grey firmly doubted that Catherine would take well to his bringing forward this observation ... especially when it was one still being waged inside the Pureblood society. The women were still highly degraded based on their looks... his mother had only been accepted as a mistress for her looks. Grey closed his eyes briefly to banish the thought away, to keep the spurt of anger from growing.
"So basically, by your admission, my company is only desirable for my physical presence, but not actually myself," Grey said slowly. "Thank you for explaining where my merit lies in your esteem." The man couldn't help the sarcasm that dripped into his voice at this. It was all rather insulting, and perhaps heading downhill too fast. In his melancholy mood, Grey wasn't quite up to just letting things slide as he normally would. Granted, would she had done so if he had made a similar comment to her?
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HERBOLOGY PROFESSOR part dryad
27 years old
Half-Blood
Single
Elli
72 posts
0 likes
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Post by Catherine Dunham on Apr 26, 2013 21:19:57 GMT -6
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