Took him a couple of seconds to realise what he was doing, his eyes flickering open as he regarded at hers, glinting in the sunlight bathing them from the corner, just as he licked his lips whilst retreating slowly, setting himself apart from her by a few centimetres, in awareness of her arms now hooked to his neck. ‘This is going too fast…’ he deemed, his stare absolutely fixed on her almond like orbs, refusing to take his sight off it, enraptured by the sensation as they communicated in lack of words, or sounds, as if just looking at her was sufficient to explain everything occurring. ‘So… rapidly… and I don’t mind it at all…’ he mused, and for the first time, in something could be considered ages, decades and even from his very birth, Verrell’s lips curled into a dimpled smile, that could be even seem a grin. ‘Is this what happiness feels like?... genuine happiness?’ so engrossed by the elation, he was barely capable of making sense to himself, letting the radiant exultance in his features lit brighter when his lips opened and his teeth showed, as it was an authentic and sincere gesture of a content Verrell. “From now on… you can refer to me as Thierry… no one calls me that way… and it would mean a lot to me, if you did” the bloke backed his shoulder a little so her hand would fall aside, grasping it in the air with his as he gently kissed it, by conveying it to his very lips, “… it’s my way to demonstrate you how different I feel around you…” the smile didn’t fade, not waxing a little.

Suddenly, reality smote him, straight into his temple, just as the cold senseless realm embedded him and beset him with doubts and insecurities. ‘My family can’t ever find out about this…’ he was raided with questions, and assumptions that promptly made him feel exposed and vulnerable, as the human-being he actually was. “I.. ” he stammered, blinking more than just once or twice, then he shut his lids closed and wrinkled his nose as his brow furrowed – he sighed. “I… have no words to describe it… though… when loves rouses… there are some interests interceding…” he muttered, still reluctant to re-open his eyes to prevent himself from entrancing into the ecstasy her gaze produced on him, “… May I ask you something?” polite and courteous as he had never expressed so, Verrell let the profound breathing induced him into ratiocination, bit by bit.

“I put my heart in this vessel and I bestow it to you, it belongs to you thence, though I must ask something in return… ” he re-opened his eyes brusquely, the glowing happiness still visible, but decaying slowly, “… You shall not reveal or disclose anything related to us… to anyone” he paused, holding an intake of oxygen long enough to feed his words with bravado, “ … we shan’t be seen together… and I shall remain the distant rival I am to be… ” he gulped, swallowing a hefty knot in his throat, as he knew every word of his was another wound that carved her skin, “ … we are to meet in concealment… apart from the world, where no one can witness… ” he propped her chin up to contemplate her utterly, finding the remorse through the windows to her soul, but he maintained steady, “ … This is not up to my will… As a Chevalier… I’ve got a repute to protect… dignity to stand up for… it’s bigger than me…” silence imbedded the conversation, just as anything could evoke such numbness to himself than having to deprive himself from this exhilaration, and this euphoria he had never experienced in other’s arms, but hers.

“This isn’t it…” he sighed, “… As requital, I guarantee that if you act as accordingly, I’ll prove you the best lover you can even depict in your mind… I will hold you when you’re cold… feed you when in famine… protect you when in peril… give you my shoulder to cry on… love you as you’ve never been loved… but only you will be the witness to such prowess…” he nibbled on his lower lip, expecting for an answer, just as time seemed to progress and a disquiet throe possessed him altogether, in lack of notion of her thoughts. Would she agree on granting him that of what he had been relinquished of? Or would he need to live in his misery for the rest of his life, to claim he had never loved and be loved in return? “… Jess… I’m imploring you…” for the juncture, his eyes brimmed with something close to tears, even when you couldn’t see them, you knew they were there, flooding his daunting, yet pure icy blue eyes.